My life so far

I'm torn between going to college or starting my life with my fiance ... I don't know what to do . He's talking about getting an apartment together how will I get all my stuff from Wisconsin 2 Virginia including myself.  I don't have a job so I don't have cash to pay for anything I  do stuff for my mother to earn money for the conventions I go to ..... I'm so lost without hope

Senior year soo far

It's alright besides having to look after both my younger brother and cousin . Plus ppl starting pointless drama with me just to see if I break which I wont. Obvious I'm still semi fighting with my fiance but thataba everyday occurrence with us

Why?

I can't keep living life like this . I'm a shell of who I am . Im not supposed to have emotions anymore , I can't express myself. Im to bottle my emotions till they tear me apart violently. I'm a shattered shell of myself.... the tears are my only friends.... the rhythm of my heart beat is making me paranoid.... but I stay for the sake of true love... <\3 but what is true love if there is only pain and sorrow later?